A LITTLE BIT OF HIM

There have been a lot of men and women, but for almost two years there hasn’t even been a little bit of him. He who trapped my heart and then… vanished? … I know that I am supposed to forget the pain and move on but if I am being honest with myself, a large part of me still refuses to believe that Wafula stayed in my life for four years just to take me through the institute of Character Development. 

1st November 2019. That was when I got engaged to him and also the last time, I saw him.

“Njeri, hold my hand like you have since we started this journey, and I shall always hold yours like every other day.” My Wafu said to me and like every other time he spewed such sweet words, I looked into his eyes, trying to find any trace of deceit, but all I could see was the sincerity I saw four years ago when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I nodded. An hour later, he kissed my forehead and rushed out to catch his flight at Wilson Airport. He texted me that night after landing at Eldoret International airport and that was the last time I heard from him.

Right now, I am at Karen attending Martin’s birthday party. I am about to go for another bottle of Wine from Martin’s ever filled shelf when I hear a voice. A voice that sounds like Wafula’s. It could be the alcohol, but I can swear that the low, soothing feel of the voice and eloquence of the English belong to him. I turn so I am facing the entrance and I see him. Well, a little bit of him at first as there is a woman blocking my view, but he steps forward to hug Martin and I see him clearly. Him and the wedding band shining on his left hand’s ring finger. That man proposed to me and then ran off to marry another woman? I watch in disbelief as he snakes his arm across the woman’s waist and pulls her into his side. They turn and his eyes meet mine. I watch both he and Zala stiffen as I look from him to her and then back to him. Wafula did not just run off to marry anyone, he married my business partner who, for all we know, is lesbian and even has a girlfriend whom she doesn’t hesitate to flaunt during business parties. My gaze slides to the wedding band on her slender finger and the anger and hate that had been boiling in me fades. Looks like he gets his own character development course.

I watch as Zala drags the unwilling Wafula towards me, a huge smile on her face.

                                                 “Njeri, meet my huss…baaand Evans, we got married a year and a half ago, honey meet my friend and partner, Susan Njeri.”

A small smile grazes my lips as Wafula, and I shake hands. Zala doesn’t know that her Evans is the man who put the engagement ring that is always on my finger. I look at Wafula and find him staring at the ring on my finger. Yes sir, I didn’t throw it away, we didn’t break the engagement, the man just disappeared so I wore it every day for two years hoping that if he is not dead, his disappearance will have a good enough back story and we will still get married.

                                                     “Ah, Njeri, again, you didn’t bring your fiancé with you. I was looking forward to meeting this man who can keep up with you.”

Zala says and Wafula immediately breaks into a coughing fit. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. How do I tell my friend that My fiancé of two years is her husband of one and a half years? This truly is Nairobi, Kanairo. I look at Wafula and then at Zala before softly replying,

                                                      “One day Zi, one day, you will meet him.”

I pat her shoulder as I walk away towards Martin who is on a call near the pool and slip my arms around him. I need a distraction from my cocktail of feelings.

                                                      “I’m wearing nothing under this dress.” I whisper in his ear and Martin quickly turns, a look of surprise on his face. He immediately hangs up and asks,

                                                      “All this while you have rejected me, and every other man, what changed?”

                                                      “My reality.”

I answer him as I throw the engagement ring in his swimming pool. As he carries me to his room, I can’t help but wonder. Wafula is married to Zala, Zala who has been dating her secretary Sonia for a year. I shall not utter a word. Eh, also, I think it’s time that I move on. I would like to completely forget his existence, but where do you start forgetting the man who a bit of his body you carry in you? How do you forget the existence of a man who donated his Kidney to save your life? Perhaps all I can do is learn to unlove him and to forgive.

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